Special Bulletin: TRUMP RESIGNS!!

On June 1, Donald Trump announced that, by his withdrawal from the Paris Accord, he was resigning as Leader of the Free World. At the same time, Trump indicated that, pending the conclusion of investigations in Congress and by the Special Counsel, he will retain his position as President of the United States.

The designation Leader of the Free World (“LOFW”) arose during the Cold War and its use was not always salutary. Various White House staffs have been known to convince themselves that their president, speaking or acting as LOFW, should be considered more or less above criticism. Nevertheless, the term reflected the respect, albeit sometimes grudging, accorded the United States by other western nations. Since the end of the Cold War, the designation has lost some of its currency, but presidents and their staffs have been understandably reluctant to retire it. In this case, Trump’s withdrawal from the Paris Accord was the final step in his growing estrangement from long-standing European allies of the United States. His successor as LOFW is, by consensus, Germany’s Angela Merkel. Some may find comfort in the dubious claim by Sean Spicer that Trump’s relationship with Merkel is “unbelievable” (taken to be Trumpspeak for “really, really good.”) However that might be, others clearly saw Trump’s action as a major milestone in Making America Not-So-Great Again.

Although Russia is a party to the Paris Accord, Business Insider reported that, unlike European leaders, Vladimir Putin declined to criticize Trump and responded to his action with an attempt at humor:

By the way, we should be grateful to President Trump. In Moscow, it’s raining and cold and even, they say, some snow,” Putin told an audience at the St. Petersburg International Economic Forum.

“Now, we could blame this all on American imperialism, that it’s all their fault,” he continued. “But we won’t.”

Ah, isn’t that what friends are for?

A sterner reaction came from the Mayor of Pittsburgh who was offended by Trump’s assertion that he represented Pittsburgh and not Paris. The Mayor said that he was “outraged” by the statement and that Pittsburgh would continue its aggressive pursuit of carbon reduction goals. According to unnamed sources in the White House, consideration is being given to suspending all federal grants to Pittsburgh. However, the recommendation by Chris Christie, to have the Department of Transportation slow down traffic on Pittsburgh’s several bridges, has been put on hold.

Unnamed sources also indicated that consideration is being given to renaming the White House Mess as the White House Staff Dining Area in order to avoid confusion with “the White House mess.” In the meantime, the Mess is revising its menu to remove borscht, which has been thought to convey the wrong “optics” just now. Borscht will be replaced by Leak and Potato Soup, which will also produce a saving to the White House budget. Leaks are sprouting up all over the White House and potatoes can be obtained from nutritional programs for children run by the Agriculture Department.

8 thoughts on “Special Bulletin: TRUMP RESIGNS!!

  • Doug, a much needed humorous take on the situation. I did not expect a Trump Administration to be good, but this is worse than I expected. Judging from some of the comments, it seems to be taking its toll all around. Thank God for single malt!

  • It took me a while to be convinced – not of climate change itself – but of the human contribution to it.
    There is ample evidence that the planet is warming. For instance, pictures of crack in the Antarctic ice cap show up frequently in the news. Also, people know it from their own experience. Once, while hiking in the high Rockies, we met a man who had lived there all his life. He described how he had seen the glaciers retreat consistently over a period of twenty years.

    But global warming and cooling is a phenomenon that happens naturally on our planet – take the ice ages. So how do we know that this time it’s being caused by human beings? How do we know that carbon dioxide and other gases, now at levels never previously unknown on the planet, are causing the warming? Well apparently the science for that is clear (see NASA on global warming)

    But maybe the whole thing is a hoax, as some people claim, and the scientists (improbably) are all in collusion? Then I thought: we know that clouds, for instance, hold in the earth’s heat – it is usually colder on a clear night than a cloudy one. Then I thought about the pollution over our cities. Years ago i remember driving back to Toronto from the country and seeing a haze of pollution over the city. Ditto San Francisco. And the pictures we see of pollution in China. So it began to make sense. Clouds of pollution can hold in the earth’s heat.

    Now, it’s still possible that some of the global warming is due to natural causes. But I am now convinced that it is largely caused by humans, and therefore we can do something about it. But Trump is not alone. The mayor(s) of Long Beach Island, NJ, may not agree with the Mayor of Pittsburgh. Long Beach Island has apparently rebuilt after Hurricane Sandy in spite of the danger of a recurrence. Also Lower Manhattan and Hoboken in danger of rising sea levels as are many areas on the East Coast.

    Ignorance and un-thought-out opinion seem to be in style these days – see Krugman in today’s NY Times. Thank heaven for you, Doug.

  • Obviously Doug, you know nothing about the Paris accord. It was a terrible deal for the US and would have done nothing for the Climate.

    Liberals have been consistently consistent on their description of pull-outs its either been emotional “oh my god the earth is ending” to everyone on the planet is agreeing to it so it must be the right thing to do. I thought we were taught by our mother not to use the old “everyone else is doing it argument.”

    Never does one hear any FACTS from the left and unfortunately I find the same here.

    • Dear Mr. Holguin,
      You address Doug by his first name, which suggests you know him personally (my mother taught me not to address adults with whom I was not personally acquainted by their first names), but if you do know him, you would certainly know he is not a “lefty.” Nor am I.
      Nevertheless, you assume that people who support the US remaining a party to the Paris accord are “from the left,” and then further assume we know nothing about the accord, as demonstrated by our failure to provide any FACTS (your all-caps) in support of our position. Well, I haven’t heard any FACTS “from the right,” either…most tellingly from the lips of our President, who offered only unsupported assertions that the accord has caused the rest of the world to laugh at us, and would cost the US jobs.
      OKAY, Mr. Holguin, here’s your chance! Please enlighten us with the FACTS. Please be specific about how our remaining a party to the Paris accord would have resulted in a net loss of US jobs. (I won’t ask you to document Trump’s assertion that the rest of the world was laughing at us when we signed the accord, as it is now irrelevant…the only world leader who’s laughing since we withdrew is Vlad The Manipulator.)

  • I agree! Superb writing (Doug is incapable of anything else), and also unbelievably, incredibly and unprecedentedly covfefe!

    • Thank you for your comment, however the prevailing style on this blog is informal, which I understand is not in keeping with your mother’s teaching but nevertheless it is what it is. I did noticed, by the way, that Doug did not address President Trump formally yet…

      Furthemore,I do not post countervailing facts to emotional arguments. If Doug had posted FACTS against the Climate Accord it would be appropriate to comment accordingly, since he did not, my comment was proportional to the argument.

      There have been many analyses why the Climate Accord is bad for the US, if you have not heard them, you have not been listening. And as for FACTS from the President, that certainly is not his job nor his inclination and I do not base my position based on FACTS coming from Trump (informal).

  • Excellent piece, start to finish, but the first two sentences rank right up there with the best writing about the sad state of US affairs…a superb example of completely true false news.

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